The first Chem 1A exam is taking place tonight. 

I plan to Twitter about the glorious adventure that is to take place, so in case you don't already know - follow me at etoilenoir!

Got this in my e-mail.  Looks like there's a swine flu outbreak at UC Berkeley.   Yaaayy!

To:  All Instructional Titles

Dear Colleagues,

The 2009 H1N1 flu outbreak is now responsible for the increasing, but
still limited, number of influenza-like illnesses we are experiencing
on campus. The campus' Pandemic Flu Preparedness Team, led by medical
and public health experts at University Health Services (UHS) and
School of Public Health, is monitoring the situation with local, state
and federal health officials.

And yes, I had not one, but TWO students come to lab this morning with the icky-poo.  They were definitely coughing up a storm and sounded horrible. 
And by Murphy's Law, I will now contract swine flu.    -_-

My parents came for a last-minute visit to have brunch with me.  My Mommy brought some home cooking for me, and they took me grocery shopping too. 

It was a bright ray of sunshine amidst this dark and desolate storm.  And very much needed.

Back to the library I go.

Lombard Street is being transformed into Candy Land!  (SF Examiner article)

After 60 years of sparking the candy filled dreams of kids of all ages, Candy Land is coming to life for a day.  Lombard Street known for being crooked and picturesque will be transformed on Wednesday, August 19th into a life-sized game of Candy Land.  In celebration of Candy Land being "a sweet little game... for sweet little folks,” there will be four groups of six children aged 6-10 [that will] play the game.  The children will pull from an oversized deck of color-coated cards and will advance through the squares of purple, red, blue, orange, green and yellow covering this twisting stretch of Lombard.  At the finish line there will be a cake shaped like King Kandy’s castle, eco-friendly confetti and balloons.

My first thought: Wait, just 24 kids get to play the game? That's it?!
 
My second thought: WAIT. Just kids?!?!

My third thought: Well yay that I'm a big kid!  I can skip classes, right?  I mean, the third day of school is never really all that important, yes?
 

Yesterday, in the span of four hours, I sold or gave away every piece of furniture.  My desk, my bookcase, and the bed.  I only kept my torch lamp, realizing I would need a source of light for the next few days. 

Today, I finished all the packing.  Amazingly, I fit the majority into three suitcases, and a medium-sized box of the books (and a small box of maplesyrup's stuff) will be mailed back to California.

Tomorrow, my last day at NIST.  The worst part is that I still have work to do. -_- 

Tuesday morning, at the very crack of dawn, I'll be off to the airport and heading home.

Is it bad that I'm not excited to go back?  I feel bad for not wanting to, but there's just too much anxiety and uncertainty with going back.  I really don't know how everything will be, but... I just have to trust that everything will be okay...  right? 

( My life, in three suitcases )

( My empty room )

In just three days, I completely changed my mind about going home.

It first began with a simple, one-line message from Vicki. 

"Come home.  Here.  Take the time to just be."

(Unlocking a previous post because it's what I'm referring to, but comments disabled because that post doesn't really apply anymore: http://etoilenoir959.livejournal.com/114842.html)

It's been more than a month now. (Five weeks exactly, actually.)  But it's been a difficult month.  I lost all motivation for anything and didn't care for much... which is that I really fell into a bad depression. 

I recognize that now. "Lost motivation" and "not caring" was simply what I told myself I was dealing with, when it really was a bad depression. 

But "was" isn't quite the right term, since it's still here.  I'm still dealing with it.  I know I can't NOT care for things anymore, so I'm trying to actually do things and be productive.  At one point, my e-mail Inbox got to almost 700 e-mails.  Absolutely ridiculous, but I simply didn't want to go through and respond to people's e-mails.  I'm slowly whittling that number down; I'm about to 350 now.  I'm still not sleeping very well.  But for the past two weeks, if I'm still awake by 6:00, then I just get ready for work and head out.  My mind is alert, so I figure I might as well take advantage of it and get things done.  I stayed at home for the first couple of weeks.  Yeah, I called a lot of friends each and every night, but I was keeping myself couped up in my room.  Lately, I've been heading out with bellevoyageur a lot.  Annapolis, Wine Festival, NASA Tweetup... practically something every other day.  Even went into Viriginia last week to see the boys. 

I'm slowly trying to climb my way out.  And just taking it one day at a time.

"One day at a time." That's been my game plan as of late.  Some days are good, some days aren't; I have ups, and I have downs.

But today? 

Today was good.

Today I smiled.
Today I laughed.
Today I danced.

One day at a time.

Almost 5:30 now.  Don't think I'll try going to sleep anymore.  Too many thoughts running through my head.  

Sunrise, perhaps? 

It's 6:30 in the morning, and my mind is racing.  I need to get away from all this.  To think about everything that's going on, to sort through everything that's in my head... to make some decisions that I've been procrastinating on.

I'm going to play hooky from work today.  Head over to Rehoboth Beach in Delaware.  Or maybe Ocean City in Maryland, too?  Probably be gone for most of the weekend.

Well, guess I'll be offline for the next few days.  Not that it's going to make a difference on Twitter or Facebook, heh.  As always, calling is the best way to get ahold of me.  (E-mail is not a good option at the moment.  E-mail inbox is building up far too quickly.)

And maybe I'll find my motivation again too.  Just maybe.

Today's lovely e-mail came from the Regents of the University of California.  My appeal of my nonresident classification has been denied.

Long story short, I received notification about three months ago that I did not qualify as a California resident due to the following factors:

• Lived outside of the state for more than six months
• Registered a vehicle outside of the state
• Changed my Driver's License to a different state
• Changed my voter registration to a different state
• Paid states taxes to a different state

Subsequently, I would have to pay nonresident fees for my first year at UC Berkeley. 

I sent a nicely-worded, two-page appeal letter to the General Counsel, explaining my situation and the reason for each of the above "criteria" which invalidated my residency.

Apparently it was all for naught, because I still have "nonresident classification for tuition purposes at the University of California, Berkeley campus."

When I read the e-mail, I seriously LOL-ed.  I just laughed out loud in my office.  My life has turned absolutely upside-down in the past month, and it's only fitting that this would happen next.  Don't get me wrong, everything that's happened has been quite ... what's the word... surreal, but at this point, all I'm left with is to laugh at it. 

And hey, at least I can still laugh, right?

Just got a lovely e-mail from the Office of Academic Records.  My graduation has been denied by Evaluations. 

Seriously?  Seriously?!?  

I cannot believe this is happening.  As if getting locked out of my own house two nights ago wasn't fun enough, now THIS gets thrown into the mix of everything that's happened.  Told myself I was going to hold off on the ice cream too, but it looks like I'll be starting my fourth carton tonight. 

=/

Edit: Called Evaluations.  Apparently the phone line is only open from 10 AM to 12 PM on Mondays.  ^**frustrated ninja*

I've lost my motivation.  Lost my motivation for pretty much everything. 

I have no appetite, which has led me to lose 9 lbs in just 3 weeks.
I can't sleep. Or when I am able to fall asleep, it's just for an hour or two at a time. 
I have no desire to do anything when I'm at work, and I almost want to tell my supervisors to "Screw it, find someone else to do all your grunt work." 
My room is an absolute mess because I don't want to bother cleaning any of it.

I'm just done.  I don't have any motivation for anything anymore. 

And the worst part of it all?  I really don't have a want to find motivation again.  Zoning out at work?  I'm fine with it.  Not getting a good night's rest? I've already accepted it.  Not eating much?  I didn't need the extra calorie intake anyway. 

I just... I'm done. 

I'm done. 

I'm done caring.  I don't have any motivation to do anything, and I don't care.

With my OCD, it really bothers me that the iPhone OS 3.0 Software Update resulted in the font of the Notes to be changed.  Originally it was a "Felt Marker Narrow," but now it's a "Felt Marker Wide."  (Not sure if these are the actual font names, I'm just calling them that.)

That's all.

(And yes, I owe y'all lots and lots of pictures.  Chem Banquet and Gradumacation are the big ones. I know, I know. Sorries.)

Poll time!  Vote for your favorite gradumacation dress: Alpha, Beta, or Gamma

( ...dresses...? )

Yes, that last one is just for funsies.  Got ya, though! ^_^

Holy shmoly.  Holy shmoly. 

Hayao Miyazaki will be at UC Berkeley on Saturday, July 25 to accept the 2009 Berkeley Japan Prize.

-UTTERLY CRIES-  NOOOOooooo, I won't be back in California by then!  NOOOoooooo!!!!!

For more information about the prize or the various screenings they'll have of the STudio Ghibli films, clicky here: http://ieas.berkeley.edu/cjs/miyazaki.html

From Twitter & Facebook

9:21 PM
Got schooled in fashion by a six-year-old. Jaida said about my sneakers: "You wear those shoes too much" =/

bellevoyageur 's responses:

So bellevoyageur and I were procrastinating at work, and we ended up watching the trailer of Disney's upcoming animated film: The Princess and the Frog.  (Of which I am SUPER excited for!!)

But that brought me to an interesting thought: What's your favorite Disney moment? Which film moments, regardless of how many times you've seen it or how well you have the lyrics or you know exactly what's coming, will still cause a huge smile to appear on your face?

Here are my favorites (and this is just what's coming to mind - there's probably more!):

- The sequence in Mulan where she watches her parents from the rain and then decides to take her father's place in the army.  I cried when I saw that, and I was watching it in a theater.

- The scene in Beauty and the Beast as Belle runs into the fields Sound-of-Music-style in her reprise.  The scenery, the music, and basic message of wanting more of her life is so beautiful.  (The snowball fight and the ballroom scenes are big "AWWWwwww" moments for me too...)

- Esmeralda singing "God Help the Outcasts" in The Hunchback of Notre Dame

- During "Part of Your World" in The Little Mermaid, when Ariel is singing the lines "Bright young women, sick of swimmin', ready to stand!"  Just the crescendo of the music, the artwork of her swimming to the top of her grotto - love it!

- "A Whole New World" from Aladdin. 

And if I can cheat with a few of my favorite Pixar moments:

- Jessie's song in Toy Story 2

- In Finding Nemo when Dory says "I shall call him 'Squishy,' and he shall be mine, and he shall be my Squishy."  Because it reminds me of patriciaab 

- Eve and Wall-E's space waltz.  It definitely helped that I saw WALL-E in Blu Ray (Thanks Gary!), but I absolutely love the music, and despite that these two robots who didn't know what dancing was, being watched by two humans who had forgotten how to dance, Eve and Wall-E danced.

To my girl bellevoyageur :

Congratulations!!! You're done with school!!! YAAAAYYY!!!!

( The proud graduate! )

Okies, so it looks like there are some people that would come down to SLO for my graduation.  Yaaayy!

And in that case, please mark your calendars for Sunday, June 14.  Convocation begins at 11:30 AM and the celebration will be held afterwards, probably a late lunch of simple BBQ stuffs.  Location of foodage has yet to be finalized, but that will be figured out soon!  So until I can send out the invitations (aka Evite ^_-), please save the date of June 14. 

Thankie! ^_^

Edit: No tickets are required, so y'all are welcome to attend the ceremony!